


Starsky and Hutch, Vampire Slayers

by Dawnwind



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-31
Updated: 2011-07-31
Packaged: 2017-10-22 01:14:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/232080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnwind/pseuds/Dawnwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A missing scene for The Vampire</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starsky and Hutch, Vampire Slayers

Hutch made a grab for the small white pendant hanging on a silken   
thread around his partner's neck.

Fending off the questing hands Starsky backed up until he was trapped by the water fountain   
behind him. "Would you please?" he asked, pushing Hutch away just enough to   
make an escape.

"Let me look!" Hutch insisted, dipping his hand into the v of Starsky's shirt, fishing out the little   
ornament and pulling it closer to examine. There was a pungent odor that wrinkled his nose.   
"Garlic!" he chortled.

"I've been known to wear garlic lots of times," Starsky retorted tightly,   
snatching the vegetable back and settling back under his clothing for safekeeping.   
Turning on his heel, he marched down the hall, wounded pride surrounding him like a cape.

"You mean while I was on the phone you actually went down to the   
commissary and you bought yourself a clove of garlic?" Hutch giggled   
gleefully, hurrying to catch up. "To protect yourself against..." he   
broke down laughing, the whole thing so funny he could hardly finish the sentence. "Against vampires?"

"I got one for you, too." Starsky deftly popped a tiny piece of garlic into his partner's mouth   
and left.

"Yuck." Hutch spit the smooth clove out into his palm with a grimace,   
rolling his eyes. Garlic might be the perfect ingredient for   
spaghetti Bolanase but otherwise he had very little use for the stuff.   
Starsky had to be the most gullible person he'd ever known and yet,   
without a doubt, an intelligent, intuitive detective. The hunch to check out   
practitioners of the occult and black arts was a sound one,   
but what the hell did fools and greenhorns predicting the   
weather have to do with the case?

"Starsk." Hutch located his partner by the red and white striped car.   
It hadn't been all that difficult to find him--the car was parked in   
its customary spot directly in front of the police department.   
Starsky had the most phenomenal ability to get that coveted parking   
place time after time. Some of their colleagues called it luck, but   
Hutch thought it was just Starsky's due. He got hurt more often than   
any other cop on the force, so he deserved any of the little perks   
life might hold.

"You gonna do you hyena impression all day?" Starsky asked loftily,   
looking squarely at Hutch before unlocking the car door.

Swallowing the remainder of his mirth, Hutch held out his hands in a   
conciliatory gesture. "Hey, it's...not the usual kind of case,   
Starsk, you have to admit. Gotta let off a little steam somewhere."

"Just don't steam up my windows." Starsky waggled his eyebrows, back   
to their usual banter. He turned on the ignition, steering the Torino   
down the avenue towards their beat.

"But I have to ask, what possible use could garlic have fighting   
vampires? A stake--made of cedar--or a silver bullet, I can   
understand..."

"That's a werewolf."

"What?"

"The silver bullet's for killing werewolves," Starsky explained,   
dividing his focus between the conversation and the road. "T'do away   
with a vampire you got to plunge the stake through the heart an' then   
cut the head off or it'll come back to life."

"How do you know this stuff?"

"Research, Hutch, a useful adjunct to detective work."

"Thank you, Professor Starsky."

"Hutch, you gotta think outside the box, explore the esoteric   
possibilities. There's lots of documentation on vampires."

"Esoteric possibilities? I just want this creep off the streets   
before he exsanguinates any more women."

"He bit them in the neck, in some books that means those girls could   
turn into vampires, too," Starsky mused, turning the wheel to switch   
lanes. "Hey, where are we going anyways?"

"Huggy usually has his ear to the...esoteric possibilities," Hutch   
suggested. "But wandering Vampiras taking over Bay City aside, you   
still haven't explained why garlic wards off blood suckers."

"It's got special properties."

"Yeah, it'll lower your blood pressure, but I don't think Dracula   
worries about that since he's dead!"

"Hutch, you saw all those books I had, I wasn't finished readin'   
them. All I know is garlic is good for what ails you, and keeps the   
vampires at bay."

"Does that mean there aren't any vampires in countries with a large   
amounts of garlic in their cuisine?" Hutch glanced over at his victim   
with a smile. Baiting Starsky was easier than usual today. "Say   
Italy? Or do they grow a hardier breed of vampires there?"

"Just watch it--he goes after you, I'm safe with this." Starsky held   
up the clove, swinging it like a pendulum in front of Hutch. "And   
you'll be sorry."

"Ah, Starsk, you can't be taking this seriously!" Hutch groaned,   
fingering the clove he'd stashed in his pocket. "Vampires don't   
exist--except in the movies."

"What if he thinks he's a vampire, huh?" Starsky challenged, bumping   
the car over the curb into the parking lot of the Play Pen where   
Huggy currently worked.

"If he thought he was a vampire." Hutch considered the hypothesis.   
"Then how did he get the blood out of their necks without leaving a   
gory crime scene?"

"I haven't worked that out yet." Starsky shrugged. "Unless, his   
belief was so strong it imbued him with some kind of super human   
strength." At Hutch's skeptical look, he grinned. "It could happen."

"And sharpened his teeth enough to puncture the jugular?"

"Probably went to a dentist for that," Starsky said in all seriousness.

"Starsky, sometimes I really wonder about you." Hutch shook his head,   
thinking life would never be dull with David Starsky by his side.

Fin


End file.
